The Cover Story

Taylor Andrew Taufiq and Hannah Siew, both 40 met while working in a hotel some 15 years ago. As colleagues, they'd occasionally meet up for lunch but the chemistry between them was a slow and gradual one which only took off after Hannah left the company.

In the early days of their courtship, Hannah's parents expressed some apprehension over her Malay boyfriend. She recalled, "My parents were a little shocked at first and they were showing some negative vibes. They couldn't understand why I can't get a Chinese boyfriend. They think that once I marry a Malay, I won't have a coffin when I die and my husband's going to have four wives."

Taylor's family on the other hand turned but to be a liberal and atypical Malay household. His father, having worked briefly in Europe, was open to the subject of race and religion. In fact, many of Taylor's siblings are either Catholics or Christians, and their spouses belong to other ethnic backgrounds. Taylor himself studied in a mission School and took Chinese as a second language.

Luckily for this pair of lovebird, it didn't take long for Hannah's parent to accept that their daughter was going to marry a non-chinese. "First of all, Taylor knows how to speak the language so there's no communication barrier. In fact, after the initial period of doubt, I think they now love him more than they love me!" she chuckled.

"No matter how much we love each other, if we don't get along with our in-laws and accept each other cultures and beliefs,there's no point in getting married," Taylor said, "There has to be an equal amount of respect from both sides and we have to give each other space."


MAKING IT OFFICIAL
In 1996, after dating for two years, the couple registered their marriage. In 1998, they held their customary wedding - yes, both a Chinese banquet and a Malay lunch reception. Coming from a Cantonese background, it was customary for the groom to present Hannah's family with a suckling pig. This naturally posed some challenges for Taylor but the understanding from Hannah's family ensured that the process was a painless and straightforward one.

"Instead of physically delivering the suckling pig to my house, which would be quite disrespectful towards his parents, Taylor gave the money to my mother to prepare the rituals and buy whatever needed to be bought," Hannah explained.

And then of course, there was the common question from friends and family if Hannah would have to convert after getting married. "I have to keep repeating myself like a broken record that no, I'm not converting." Hannah said, and her husband added, "The perception in Singapore needs to change. Many people assume that just because I'm Malay, I must be Muslim, but I'm not."

Having been a freethinker most of his life, Taylor took his time in deciding which religion to embrace. At present, he is undergoing the RCIA process in CTK, but according to Hannah, who was baptised four years earlier, Taylor has always been 'more Catholic' than her - being particular about dressing well and showing reverence at mass - through habits which were cultivated from his school - going days.


AND THEN, THERE WERE THREE
The latest addition to this half-Chinese half-Malay family is Abraham Allen Taufiq Teo Jie, a 'Malaynese', as his parents affectionately call him.

"We wanted a name which both sides of the family can acknowledge and recognise," shared Hannah, "Not that my parents-in-law demanded for it, but we just felt it would be nice to pick a name that they can associate with. The name 'Abraham' came to mind because of its Catholic and Islamic roots, and incidently, it was also his paternal great grandfather's name."

With his unique name and distinctive skin tone, it's not difficult to tell that this Altar Server has some mixed blood in his genes. However, being 'mixed' has its own set of problems. The teacher in school thought that Abraham was going through an identity crisis. His classmates too, quizzed him with many questions.

"My classmates always ask me why I eat pork when I'm half Malay," said the sociable and outspoken boy who, like his father, is taking Chinese in school. Evidently tired of the incessant queries, Abraham has formulated an answer that's short and sweet. "I just tell them that I'm Catholic."

When asked if he feels special and different from his peers, this nine-year-old simply shook his head and replied that everyone's special.

FAITH'S THE ANSWER
Indeed, faith seems to be the gel that keeps this family together. The trio can be spotted in church on Sundays participating in activities with the Catechesis of Good Shepherd; getting their hands dirty doing art and craft while learning more about the Bible.

With Abraham undergoing the Family Integrated Religious Education (FIRE) programme and Taylor enrolled in RCIA, this family continues its unique evolution and builds a foundation that is rooted in the Catholic way of life.

Theirs is a story of fate and faith. It's fate because both of us could have married someone else, and faith because we both embrace similar beliefs and religion," Hannah concluded.

A true story from Singapore. And yes it was the cover story for the February 2009 edition. I changed the original name because i believe the story itself is already giving painful hints to what is happening to the ummah in other countries where Islam is not the religion of the country (though there are still unsolved ummah problems in our state and other countries that enacted, Islam is the religion of the country. Laws are left alone as laws). The article comes along with pictures of the so called 'mixed believer' and to see it, is very frustrating. It would be a rare case in Malaysia to claim freely as a non-Muslim when you are a Malay. Allah has held high the Malays in Malaysia; born automatically a Muslim without having to do much.

The article reminds me of a fable of both parents having different religion, and when their son dies, the poor corpse was barely 'buried' at a playground, having a cross on top of his head and a batu nissan at his feet. And they called it FAIR.....?